I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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