Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE