Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face

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  (619): dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face http://tfl.nu/4ulx
  Replies (24) Good night (653) Bad night (2321) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do ugly people know they are ugly?

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  The quiet ones do.

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  (202): Do ugly people know they are ugly? (1-202): The quiet ones do. http://tfl.nu/129a
  Replies (25) Good night (2001) Bad night (2242) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.

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  (425): God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis. http://tfl.nu/n22o
  Replies (21) Good night (415) Bad night (2047) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.

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  (301): My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make. http://tfl.nu/4how
  Replies (51) Good night (794) Bad night (5053) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.

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  (843): Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought. http://tfl.nu/bahq
  Replies (14) Good night (631) Bad night (4352) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet

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  (847): I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet http://tfl.nu/ttdp
  Replies (41) Good night (5308) Bad night (1407) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...

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  (802): my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night... http://tfl.nu/tx5p
  Replies (14) Good night (5595) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.

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  (614): My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/lss6
  Replies (26) Good night (5951) Bad night (3538)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.

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  (312): If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab. http://tfl.nu/3osp
  Replies (7) Good night (3814) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it

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  (503): Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it http://tfl.nu/9sa0
  Replies (15) Good night (2709) Bad night (1686) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.

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  (479): Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless. http://tfl.nu/pb8t
  Replies (6) Good night (1969) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?

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  (+49): In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life? http://tfl.nu/2p4e
  Replies (2) Good night (1228) Bad night (1342) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function

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  (215): you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function http://tfl.nu/8zfe
  Replies (1) Good night (1335) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...

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  (803): Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone... http://tfl.nu/bgtw
  Replies (2) Good night (1425) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  I smell like gasoline and adventure.

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  (779): I smell like gasoline and adventure. http://tfl.nu/rkdf
  Replies (18) Good night (2361) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt

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