I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.