He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.