Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there (217): Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is http://tfl.nu/zrn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1186) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning..... http://tfl.nu/nrjr
  Replies (16) Good night (1918) Bad night (4989)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache. http://tfl.nu/t0k5
  Replies (13) Good night (5678) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real. http://tfl.nu/xrrz
  Replies (12) Good night (835) Bad night (4186)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice. http://tfl.nu/cehn
  Replies (7) Good night (864) Bad night (3112)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though. http://tfl.nu/qm3u
  Replies (18) Good night (5737) Bad night (1760)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind. http://tfl.nu/lim4
  Replies (5) Good night (826) Bad night (1557)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka." http://tfl.nu/g6um
  Replies (6) Good night (3382) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version? http://tfl.nu/d18m
  Replies (5) Good night (1695) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch. http://tfl.nu/z7wv
  Replies (7) Good night (3079) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+49): Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/6o3i
  Replies (7) Good night (495) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You texted me a picture of your face along with #help

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): You texted me a picture of your face along with #help http://tfl.nu/jxdb
  Replies (2) Good night (715) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/r0ud
  Replies (11) Good night (1559) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide. http://tfl.nu/6k1c
  Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL http://tfl.nu/l7q5
  Replies (9) Good night (440) Bad night (251)

Randomize