Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon

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  (586): All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon http://tfl.nu/3qwx
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (578)
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  (631): View more from New York

  U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ya, gonna go have sex there?

  (631): View more from New York

  No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home

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  (631): U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track? (248): ya, gonna go have sex there? (631): No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home http://tfl.nu/4bvt
  Replies (4) Good night (1052) Bad night (1579)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP

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  (307): yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP http://tfl.nu/4nbd
  Replies (8) Good night (3217) Bad night (754)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

  (217): View more from Illinois

  well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

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  (610): thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with (217): well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment http://tfl.nu/vbkf
  Replies (23) Good night (1584) Bad night (2496)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius

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  (203): You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius http://tfl.nu/w3wu
  Replies (32) Good night (12847) Bad night (908)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life

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  (217): if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life http://tfl.nu/29yn
  Replies (11) Good night (4431) Bad night (1034)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.

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  (937): my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different. http://tfl.nu/n2zh
  Replies (38) Good night (6396) Bad night (1613)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."

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  (913): I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady." http://tfl.nu/ftym
  Replies (11) Good night (6335) Bad night (1099)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.

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  (330): Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/41un
  Replies (5) Good night (2168) Bad night (1002)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.

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  (606): at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk. http://tfl.nu/jf5g
  Replies (11) Good night (619) Bad night (3741)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both

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  (928): Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both http://tfl.nu/0ibg
  Replies (2) Good night (1427) Bad night (649)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.

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  (914): I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol. http://tfl.nu/zw06
  Replies (11) Good night (2161) Bad night (610)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.

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  (757): All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude. http://tfl.nu/k2dr
  Replies (4) Good night (1485) Bad night (502)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.

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  (856): She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group. http://tfl.nu/inny
  Replies (11) Good night (507) Bad night (748)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.

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  (734): My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know. http://tfl.nu/ov06
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (286)

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