y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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