I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There's always time for handjobs
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
