so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
