Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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