BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
