I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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