So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
