Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
