Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
