Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
