i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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