umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize