i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Randomize
