I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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