you guys were way drunker than both of me
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
