Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
