Having a random hookup so left but love u
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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