Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
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I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
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I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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