The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
