Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Randomize
