so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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