i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize