remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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