I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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