I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
