I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
