Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
