Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
