I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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