Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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