Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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