It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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