He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
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i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
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This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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