Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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