i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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