My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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