I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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