singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
