Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
