And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
