Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Drake has all the answers
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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