I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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