I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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