I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
