i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
