Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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