Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch

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(315): View more from New York

Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun

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(707): View more from California

please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up

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(513): View more from Ohio

Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.

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(716): View more from New York

Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada

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(207): View more from Maine

I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.

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(727): View more from Florida

we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to

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(207): View more from Maine

I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.

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