somebody snuck up and got me drunk
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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