I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize