And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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