I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
