I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's never too late to be topless.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
