yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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