Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
