im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
