I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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