Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
